Wishful Thinking
by tigerdreams
Summary: During “Assault on the Girls’ Locker Room.” What if things had played out a little differently? How far is Ranma really willing to go for the Nan’niichuan?
1. Assault on the Girls' Locker Room

Title: Wishful Thinking

Setting: During "Assault on the Girls' Locker Room." What if things had played out a little differently? How far is Ranma really willing to go for the Nan'niichuan?

Pairing: The romantic pairing here is Ranma/Akane. However, if you've got issues with "stuff" happening between Girl-type Ranma and Ryoga, turn back before it's too late!

Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction. Fanfiction authors borrow characters from published works and write stories involving them in a not-for-profit capacity under the "fair use" clauses of various intellectual property laws. It's all for fun, folks.

Author's Note: I knew that, if I kept writing Ranma fanfiction, at some point I would have to do a Ranma/Ryoga story. It was an inevitable fact. So I decided to confront my destiny and write the darn thing, but do it on _my_ terms. My terms were thus:

1. As a Ranma/Akane 'shipper, I cannot write a story that negates or undermines their relationship (such as it is).

2. I have to _try_, at least, to make it in-character and feasible; i.e. no changes in the implied-canon sexual orientations of the characters. (And yes, in my opinion, the characters involved are heterosexual as far as canon is concerned. That's part of what makes Ranma's curse so funny, I think. The boy's painfully straight.)

Disclaimer: I don't have any problem with yaoi, slash, shounen-ai, or whatever-you-wanna-call it. I do read and enjoy the occasional Ranma/Ryoga story. I just personally consider it to be out-of-character, and I couldn't bring myself to write the characters that OOC on purpose. (Inadvertent OOC-ness happens to me as much as to anyone else. I just try not to do it deliberately.)

Warning: This story is getting posted un-beta'ed, because I don't think I could, in good conscience, subject my beta-readers to it. Also, I'm ad-libbing the dialogue from the episode, since my computer's been misbehaving enough lately for me not to trust it with playing back the episode. Besides, that way I can elaborate some. You'll get the gist.

Anyway, I'm going to stop trying to explain away this story now, for as the Bard said, "Never excuse, for when the players are all dead, there need none to be blamed." (_A Midsummer Night's Dream_)

Continuity Note: I've got girl-type Ranma as a redhead, but for simplicity's sake I'm going with the version of the storyline from the manga, instead of the series. No wild goose chase for three urns in this one; easier that way.

o o o o o

Ranma adjusted his perch on one of the upper branches of the tree behind Furinkan High School, glaring down at the building below him. It looked innocent enough, just sitting there minding its own business. However, Ranma knew better than most how deceiving appearances can be. Beneath this seemingly-innocuous edifice lay buried a spring that could cure his curse. Within its walls lurked a horde of angry girls who were convinced that he was a pervert and a panty-thief. Among them, waiting for him, sat the greatest obstacle to his restored manhood.

Ryoga.

"That idiot," Ranma growled to himself, adjusting his skirt. _Has he forgotten what we're here for? He wants the Nan'niichuan as bad as I do; he was the one that _found_ the stupid map._ He looked down at his female body, clad in a girl's school uniform. "I _hate_ being a girl." He sighed, putting the last piece of his disguise, a large pair of wire-rimmed glasses, in place. "Well, hopefully this'll be the last time."

He moved to leap down from the tree, but his warrior instincts made him pause. _Wait for it,_ he told himself.

A minute passed; then two. Then five. He was about to move again, when he noticed a figure approaching the building from the athletic field. As it drew closer, Ranma recognized it as the female P.E. teacher. And she looked annoyed.

He watched the rather intimidating woman slam open the door of the locker room. When she spoke, he could hear her clearly even from his position forty feet from the ground; Ranma guessed this woman was used to yelling. _That could be Akane someday_, he thought wryly. _She's got the thighs for it._

"Where _are_ you brats!" Ranma winced at the grating quality of the teacher's voice. "If you ladies think you all can skip out on my class, you're sorely mistaken! Everybody outside, on the double! I want twenty laps out of all of you!"

As Ranma watched, the entire girls' gym class filed out of the locker room and headed for the track, heads hanging. The boy in the red-haired girl's body smirked. _So much for their ambush. Now all I gotta deal with is P-brain._

He waited until the teacher had followed the last straggling student out to the athletic field. Then he tucked his books under one arm, took a firm grip on his hat with the other hand, and jumped down, landing gracefully on his feet. He headed for the door. _Now, let's see if all that acting I did for Romeo and Juliet will pay off._

o o o o o

He barely got the door open before a stool came hurling at him. It caught him off-guard and he dropped the books, falling to the floor with a feminine, "Ah!" Inside, Ranma was worried. _Oh no! Don't tell me that idiot recognized me! I thought for sure this disguise would fool— _The thought was interrupted by the gentle pressure of a hand clasping his arm, carefully easing him up from the ground.

"I'm sorry, miss! I thought you were a pervert named Ranma."

_Whew! Had me worried there for a minute… _He looked up into Ryoga's face, silently cursing the fact that Ryoga was so much taller than his girl body, and saw the confusion written there in broad strokes. _Good. Better keep him off-balance._ He leapt into Ryoga's arms with a glomp that would've made Shampoo proud. "I love you!"

Ryoga backpedaled, confusion rapidly giving way to panic. "Wh-what? You can't— I mean— we've only just met!"

Ranma met the short-haired boy's eyes with that vulnerable, limpid gaze that had won his girl-body so many free scoops of ice cream in the past, and smiled. "But I've been admiring you from afar for months!"

"You have? But I— and you— I can't—" Ryoga spluttered helplessly, quite clearly out of his depth.

"Oh," Ranma murmured, drawing back one of "her" hands from the boy's shoulders to cover her mouth, as though to forestall a sob. She turned her head aside and let her gaze drift to the floor, breaking eye contact with Ryoga. "Do girls with glasses displease you?"

"No!" came the expected protest. "It's not that… it's… just that… I already have someone… that I like, and…" Ryoga trailed off uncertainly.

Though she took care not to let it show in her face, Ranma seethed with frustration. _Geez, I'd have thought the poor sap was so desperate that he'd jump at the thought of a girl liking him. I can't have him thinking about Akane right now; it'll blow the whole thing! I'd better turn up the heat a bit._ She smiled at Ryoga and leaned in to hug him around the neck, her breasts pressing against his chest. "That's okay, I don't mind!"

Her hand curled around the back of Ryoga's neck._ I wish I knew how to do that pressure-point thing that Happosai did to knock him out. Then I could just look for the darn spring myself._ She gave a mental shrug. _Guess I'll just have to "convince" him to do it for me. _She dropped her voice to a whisper, her breath warm against her victim's ear. "You're worth waiting for, Ryoga."

That seemed to do the trick. The next thing Ranma knew, Ryoga was gazing into her eyes, all thoughts of Akane and the rest of the world forgotten. "Do you mean that? I mean, do you really… _like me_?"

There was something in Ryoga's voice that was so unusual that it took Ranma a moment to place it. Hope. A stab of guilt flashed through her sternum as she realized the fall she was setting him up for. _The poor bastard has never had a girl care about him like that, has he? It'll kill him when he finds out it's me._

That thought didn't sit entirely well with Ranma. Sure, Ryoga was a pain in the ass, and had tried to kill him on more than one occasion, but… Ranma just couldn't bring himself to blame the boy with the broken mental compass. Ryoga really was a decent guy, at the end of the day, and he had a rough time of things. He deserved a break. _Maybe I can pull this off without him finding out it's me,_ Ranma thought. _And that way, he won't _kill_ me afterwards._

Suddenly Ranma remembered that she had been asked a question. She met Ryoga's eyes and saw that hope blazing out at her from their depths. Tilting her head down, she looked up at him shyly through her eyelashes, and tried to force a blush. "Of course I do, silly!" _Quick, Ranma, think! What are all those things that Akane always says about Ryoga when I mention what a jerk he is? …Oh yeah…_ The recollection made Ranma's cheeks burn, accomplishing the flush she'd failed to counterfeit a moment before. She stifled the accompanying growl, and slipped back into character. "Why shouldn't I? You're sweet, and generous, and sensitive, and kind…" Behind Ryoga's shoulders, Ranma pinched the back of her own hand, hard. _Say it, Saotome. You need to make him fall for you, if this is gonna work._ "…and handsome." She broke eye contact, not needing to feign her embarrassment.

Ranma found the breath squeezed out of her lungs as Ryoga hugged her. Joy radiated from the boy in almost-palpable waves. "Oh, my love! You've made me so happy, my sweet…" He paused, blinked, and cocked his head to one side, looking at her. "Forgive me, my darling, but I don't even know your name."

_Well, he's one up on Kuno, actually thinking to ask,_ she thought cynically. _I need a name…_ Blue eyes sought and held brown again, and she whispered the first word that came into her mind. "Kibou."

Ryoga smiled, tracing the side of her cheek with his finger. "Kibou…" he breathed, as though the word had barely been able to slip past the emotion knotted in his throat.

Ranma swallowed hard, and forced herself not to pull away from his touch. She needed to take back control of the situation before she panicked and ran screaming from the locker room. And there was really only one direction she could think to take this from here. _The Nan'niichuan. It's for the Nan'niichuan. You can do this, Saotome. For the Nan'niichuan. Besides,_ she told herself, _it's gotta be better than Sanzenin. At least P-brain's harmless._ Squeezing her eyes shut before she lost her nerve, she leaned in and pressed her lips against Ryoga's.

Every muscle in Ryoga's body went rigid. His eyes widened, staring at the beautiful young woman who was currently, against every law of nature that he understood, kissing him. Very slowly, as if they were operated by a man who was only just now remembering that they were under his control, Ryoga's arms slid around the girl's body, one hand at the base of her neck and the other on her back. The girl's limbs remained locked around his body, and held her aloft without his assistance. Equally slowly, Ryoga's eyes closed and his lips parted, responding to the pressure of the redhead's mouth.

Any thoughts Ranma harbored about Ryoga being "harmless" quickly flew out the proverbial window. _Where the heck did he learn to kiss like that!_ her mind demanded as a tongue gently parted her lips and darted furtively past them. One coherent thought raised its head above the general din of confusion and alarm that persisted in Ranma's mind: _I must keep this man away from Akane._

The next thing she was aware of was the tingle of empty air against her lips as Ryoga drew away from her, breaking the kiss. Ranma unwound her legs from around his waist, setting her feet on the floor. "Ryoga? What's the matter?"

"There's… there's something I need to tell you, Kibou, before we can take things any farther." The short-haired boy wasn't meeting her eyes; Ranma had known him long enough to recognize that Ryoga was undergoing an inner struggle, and she had a fair guess as to the cause.

"You mean your curse?" She asked a moment before her mind caught up with her mouth.

Ryoga leapt back as though he'd been stung. His face was a mask of terror. "Y-y-you know?"

_Oh crap,_ Ranma thought, _I've blown it now._ _How am I gonna get out of this? I really wish I had Nabiki's quick-thinking skills going for me right now… She'd say something like—_

"Of course I do. I said I've been admiring you for months, didn't I? I saw you change once." She smiled sweetly.

Ryoga blinked. "A-a-and it doesn't bother you?"

Now Ranma tried to approximate one of Kasumi's "oh, what a charming, but ultimately silly, idea" smiles. "Why should it bother me? I'm afraid I don't really understand how it works, though." She batted her eyelashes at him. _See, Ryoga? I'm not weirdly omniscient or anything. Now, be a good boy and explain things to sweet little me, and forget all about being suspicious._

Obediently, Ryoga did so. While he launched into a heavily-edited version of his tragic experience at Jusenkyo, Ranma's mind raced ahead. _I have to find a way to get him to start thinking about the Nan'niichuan and a cure, without making it seem like I'm rejecting him for his curse… Now how the hell do I do that?_ No sooner did he ask, but Ranma was blindsided by another flash of insight. Remembering "P-chan's" sudden nosebleed earlier, the redhead fought back a grin. _Perfect._

"So, you turn into a piglet _every_ time you get splashed with cold water?" She let only the barest hint of disappointment creep into her voice.

"Yes… why?" Ryoga asked, suddenly worried again.

"Well, it's just—oh, never mind, you'll just laugh at me." She looked at the floor, an embarrassed smile tugging at her lips.

"No I won't, I promise. What?"

_Here goes nothin'…_ "Well, it's really just a childish dream, but… I've always had this… well… I've always thought that my first… when my husband and I… the first time… my first experience…" she stammered over the proper phrasing, deliberately making the reference awkward so that the equally-awkward Ryoga would catch it. _Now to lay it on real thick. I've gotta sound like a silly little schoolgirl._ "I've always imagined that it would be under a waterfall. The rushing music of the water, the gentle spray raining down on us, the mist making little rainbows everywhere… it would be so beautiful." Her voice dropped to a whisper, so that Ryoga had to strain to hear. "…I read something like that in a romance novel once."

When she looked up into Ryoga's face again, she saw him blushing as red as her hair. She had to bite back a chuckle. _Hook, line, and sinker._

Ryoga swallowed hard. "Well, um, see… I, ah… there might be… maybe… a cure."

"A cure?"

The furiously-blushing boy nodded. "I found this map, that said… there's supposed to be a Spring of Drowned Man… under this building, actually."

"Really?" If her smile was more smug than demure, Ryoga didn't notice. He nodded, staring shyly at the floor.

This time, Ranma tried to emulate that sweet, sincere, and heartbreakingly beautiful smile that Akane graced him with once in a very long while—usually right before pushing him into the canal. "Ryoga… I hope you find it."

Then she turned and headed for the door, picking up the books she'd dropped on the way in. "I should get going. I don't want the teacher coming back to find that I skipped gym class and spent the period in the locker room with a boy!" Satisfied that Ryoga would seek out the Nan'niichuan once she'd left, she reached for the door handle, but something made her look back over her shoulder at the cursed boy, who was still staring at his feet in silence.

"Ryoga," she said softly.

Finally he raised his eyes, to see her cross the room toward him once again. Ranma took a deep breath, wet her lips, and looked up at him. "Whatever happens, Ryoga, I want you to remember one thing."

"Yes?"

Standing on tiptoe, Ranma gave him a gentle but firm kiss on the lips, allowing the contact to linger for a few moments. Then, without another word, she fled from the building.

o o o o o

Translation Note: "Kibou," according to an online translator, has two meanings. The first is, "hope, wish, aspiration." The second is "trick, ruse." I thought it was appropriate.


	2. The Power of Suggestion

On the way home from school that afternoon, Akane still wasn't talking to Ranma, which was fine with him. _If that stupid tomboy wants so bad to think that I'm some kinda pervert, I ain't got anything to say to her anyhow._ He growled. _Does she really think I'm some kinda weirdo like that old freak?_ The trouble with walking along the top of the fence was that there were no pebbles or bits of garbage to kick, so as to improve one's mood.

He noticed Nabiki about a block ahead of them, on her way to the library before going home. He hopped down from the fence, gesturing for Akane not to catch up with him as he ran on ahead.

Hearing his footsteps, Nabiki turned to see him approach. "You want something, Ranma?"

He fell into step beside her and pulled out his wallet. "Here," he said, thrusting two thousand-yen notes into her hand.

She looked at him evenly. This was largely due to the fact that Nabiki Tendo made it a point not to have a "confused face." "What's this for?"

"Somethin' happened earlier, made me feel like I owed you."

Nabiki arched a curious eyebrow. "Really? What?"

He broke stride, stopping to look her in the face. "Nabiki, you're two thousand yen richer than you were a minute ago. No questions asked, for once?"

She nodded. "All right. No questions asked."

"Thanks." He turned and started to head back toward Akane, then paused. He slid another thousand-note out of his wallet and passed it to the middle Tendo sister. "And thanks again." _I hope this works. I wanna win an argument, for once. _With that, he strolled back down the sidewalk in Akane's general direction.

Nabiki blinked. _It's times like this, I almost wish I had a "confused face."_ Then she shrugged and pocketed the money, continuing on her way.

As Ranma neared Akane's position, he jumped back up onto the fence, walking backwards to keep pace with her.

"I don't even want to know what that was all about," she told him, her tone of voice suggesting volumes, all of them unsavory.

"Good, 'cause I wasn't plannin' on tellin' ya."

She glared at him. "Pervert."

He knew the course she was expecting this discussion to take. He'd call her a tomboy, and then she'd call him a jerk, and they'd go back and forth with insults until one of them ran out, at which point Akane would smack him with her schoolbag, and he'd end up in the canal. _Not this time_.

Turning around to face forward, he let a moment pass in silence, to draw her attention to the fact that something was amiss. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, pensive, almost sad. "…Is that what you really think of me, Akane?"

Akane opened her mouth, then shut it again. _What's the matter with him? You'd almost think I hurt his feelings. But that's silly. _"Well, you _were_ trying to get into the girls' locker room."

He didn't look at her, didn't break his gaze away from the horizon. "Mm," was his noncommittal reply.

Again, Akane was taken aback. She had expected him to protest, to come up with some excuse to explain what he was doing in there. But he offered no defense… why? "If you had a reason for being there that _wasn't_ perverted, why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have listened?" His tone carried no rancor; only resignation.

She shuffled her feet. "I… I would've… if it was a good reason…"

Ranma stopped walking, and turned to look at her. Even from his height on the fence, she could read the expression in his eyes: regret. It was as if his eyes were saying, _"No, you wouldn't have. But I don't blame you. I only wish it were otherwise."_

Her shoes, Akane decided, were a much better place to look than into those sad blue eyes. She swallowed past the lump that guilt was quickly creating in her throat. "Ranma… you're right. I'm sorry I called you a pervert. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to tell me what was going on. It's just that you always come up with the most idiotic excuses for—" Akane winced. She sighed, and scraped her heel in the dirt. "And from now on, I'll try to be more understanding when you stick your foot in your mouth in the middle of an apology."

At that, Ranma had to smile. He hopped down from the fence and stood beside her. On impulse, he reached down and took her hand in his, figuring that if he got punted into the canal for it, at least he'd gotten an apology out of the deal. To his pleasant surprise, Akane squeezed his hand and smiled at him. "Come on," he told her, "let's go home."

As they walked back to the dojo, Ranma pondered the spontaneous development of his newfound ability to pay Nabiki for the temporary rental of her quick wit and understanding of human reactions. He resolved to save up his yen and try out this new resource in extricating himself from his "extra" fiancées.

The power of suggestion is a wonderful thing.


	3. A Day for Firsts

It was late. The Tendos, and his father, had already gone to bed. Ranma, however, wasn't tired enough yet, and had things on his mind besides. He'd tried training in the dojo for a while, but launching a flurry of kicks and strikes at an imaginary opponent hadn't expelled the uncomfortable words and images from his head. He had to do something, if he was going to get any sleep tonight. _Maybe I need to actually sit down and think things through_. He gave a resigned sigh. _Why the heck not,_ he thought wryly, _it's been a day for firsts…_ So he headed for his preferred thinking spot, the roof.

—Only to find it already occupied. "Hey, P-chan. I would've thought you'd be snuggled up in Akane's bed by now."

Ranma was no less surprised by the fact that Ryoga didn't try to clobber him than by the other boy's actual reply. "I decided to skip it tonight; didn't feel like risking life and limb. Nothing against Akane, but that girl is a _violent_ sleeper."

_That… was different._ But there was relevant information to be drawn from this reply. "I take it you didn't find the Nan'niichuan, then?"

Ryoga tossed a small ceramic pot in Ranma's general direction. The pigtailed boy caught and opened it, finding a note inside. "'...thank you for your patronage… temporarily out of service… original Nan'niichuan in Jusenkyo, China!' Those jerks!"

Ryoga turned to look at him, a half-smile tugging at the corner of the short-haired boy's mouth. "Don't worry; we'll find a cure eventually."

Ranma blinked. There was something severely wrong with this picture. "Ryoga, man… you feelin' all right?"

Ryoga chuckled a bit at the irony. "Yeah, actually… I am."

The sound of his rival's sincere good humor jarred Ranma into realizing what was strange about the scene. _Ryoga's… not feeling sorry for himself… Did I fall out of a tree and knock myself into Bizarro World?_ Then again, hadn't that been the goal of his parting words to Ryoga when he left the girls' locker room? _"Words"…right._ He suppressed a shudder.

He still felt weird about that whole kissing-another-boy-on-purpose thing… even if he _had_ been a girl at the time. But Ryoga was never gonna know. _Nobody_ was ever gonna know. In fact, it might as well have never happened. In fact, it _didn't_ ever happen. Nothing happened. At all. Nothing

_Good, now that that's settled…_ "Hey Ryoga."

"Yeah?"

"There's no sense in your tryin' to get home in the middle of the night like this. I doubt the Tendos would mind if you stayed the night. There's plenty of floor in me and Pop's room."

"Sure. I'll get my sleeping bag. Thanks, Ranma." The other boy stood and headed for the edge of the roof.

"No problem. I'll see you downstairs."

o o o o o

Author's Note: This story was originally a random "what if" that was bouncing around in my head and needed to be exorcised. Writing it was my way of saying to it, "Hie thee hence, and do not haunt me thus!" Then it just kind of took on a life of its own, as these things are wont to do. That whole bit with Ranma and Akane just kind of got away from me and went along its merry way, with me watching in befuddlement. It's not really meant to be 100 true to how the characters would behave in the series, but I do try to keep it vaguely in-character. I amused myself with the idea that Ranma manages to convince himself that he's channeling Nabiki and is therefore capable of being intelligent. Bear in mind that most of this got written in the middle of the night, and I got about three hours' sleep the night previous. But now I think I'm going to let my epilogue alone, for the story needs no excuse. And no, I don't know why I keep quoting _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, other than because it's there.


End file.
